


I would never judge you

by EnterLameUsernameHere



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Dysphoria, FTM, Other, Trans!Stiles, Transgender, Transphobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-16
Updated: 2015-11-16
Packaged: 2018-05-01 22:16:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,379
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5223005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EnterLameUsernameHere/pseuds/EnterLameUsernameHere
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles and his dad move to Beacon Hills after Stiles is picked on at his old school for being trans. He decides not to tell anyone at his new school, that is until he meets Scott and the two become so close that they're practically brothers..and how else can he possibly explain his chest when Scott walks in on him changing?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I would never judge you

**Author's Note:**

> At one point Stiles is alone and starts to get really sad and mad that he's trans, and he says some transphobic shit about himself so if hearing those kinds of things triggers you in any way please don't read this.

"Ready for your first day?" Stiles' dad asked him as he walked down the stairs. The 15 year old just nodded in response, he talked as little as possible most of the time because he couldn't stand the sound of his own voice. He also wasn't necessarily ready for his first day. He wasn't ready to have to hide who he was, again. Sure this time he would be seen as the boy he truly is, instead of before when everyone thought he was a girl, but he still couldn't tell anyone he was trans. They couldn't afford to move again, so he couldn't screw this up.

 

Skipping breakfast, Stiles left the house early since he would have to walk to school. Next year he'd get his dads old jeep, but right now he still couldn't drive. He walked about two blocks, before nearly bumping into someone who was coming out of their house. "Oh shit sorry." The tan boy said, looking up from his phone. "I've never seen you before, are you new here?" Both boys started walking beside each other.

 

Stiles nodded, "I just moved in about two blocks down." he motioned behind them, in the direction of his house.

 

"Oh cool, what grade you in? I'm in 10th."

 

"Yeah me too." The boys talked the rest of the way to school, and when they got there Scott waited in the office with Stiles while he got his schedule, and then walked him to his first class. At lunch Scott insisted Stiles sit with him and his girlfriend, Allison. Obviously he didn't decline the offer, seeing as he didn't have any other friends there. Scott and Stiles ended up having two classes together, on of them being their last class of the day.

 

When the final bell rang, Stiles waited for Scott to get his things from his locker, and they walked home together. "Hey wanna come in and hang out for a while?" 

 

"Sure, I'll text my dad and let him know I'm not gonna be home right away."

 

The friendship just grew from there, the two of them staying at each others houses, and hanging out practically every day. Eventually Stiles realized he probably should tell Scott he wasn't born a guy, but having a real friend was great and Stiles didn't want to hurt their friendship or scare Scott away, so he kept putting it off.

 

 _Next week I'll tell him_  

 

was a thought that ran through Stiles' head almost every week, but by the end of each week he'd come up with some reason that he couldn't possibly tell Scott that week.

 

_Homecoming is this weekend, I don't want to ruin that for him._

 

_Allison and him are fighting, I don't want to give him another reason to be upset._

 

_We have finals this week, I can't_ _distract him from studying._

 

Until eventually they'd been friends for over a year and Stiles still hadn't told him. 

 

Standing up, and walking over to the mirror hanging on his wall, Stiles looked at his reflection. He slowly picked his hand up, tracing his soft jawline. He so badly wished that it was more defined. He looked from his face down to his chest. 

 

 _and these,_ he thought _these shouldn't even be here. They_ _don't belong here._

 

Stiles grabbed his binder that was laying on his desk chair, he wished he didn't have to wear it all the time, he wished he could be comfortable with his body. He wished he could be normal.

 

 _But you're not normal, if you were normal you wouldn't have to wear it at all, you're such a freak._ The voice in his head told him.

 

Most days he didn't have very strong dysphoria, but on some days, days like today, he wished he could just curl up in a ball and disappear forever. "I'm not a freak" he whispered to himself, already feeling the tears starting to form.

 

_But you are, your hands are too small and you're not tall enough and your voice isn't deep enough and your skin is too soft and your jaw isn't defined enough and you're a freak._

 

Stiles still hadn't put his binder, or a shirt on but he didn't even care anymore. He just sat down on his floor, pulled his knees to his chest and sobbed. 

 

_You'll never be normal like Scott, you can't even take your fucking shirt off in front of other people, what kind of guy can't take their shirt off?_

 

Stiles let out a soft, but still audible whimper.

 

_and god, listen to that sound. Real guys don't make sounds like that. You're not a real guy, and no matter how much you pretend and lie to everyone else, you're never going to be a real guy._

 

"Shut up, shut up, shut up." He knew it was strange to be telling his own mind to shut up, but in that moment he didn't care.

 

_and that voice! You're such a fucking **girl**._

 

He couldn't take it anymore, Stiles stood up and started pacing around the room, he just wanted to stop thinking, needed something to distract him.

 

Unfortunately, the distraction he got wasn't exactly the one he had hopped for. Just as he was about to crawl back in bed, Scott walked in. Of course, it wouldn't have even been a problem because originally Stiles back was facing the door, but when he heard it opening, his first instinct was to turn and see who it was.

 

Scott opened his mouth to speak, but as soon as he realized Stiles had boobs, he was speechless. He looked from Stiles chest up to his face, and then quickly glanced back down as if he was just making sure what he had thought he'd seen was correct. Stiles was mortified, he scrambled to grab a shirt.

 

"I-I can come back later if this is a bad time.." was all that Scott managed to say before starting to back out of the room. 

 

"No! Wait, stay please let me just explain. Like can you wait in the hall for a second and then I'll explain?"

 

Scott nodded and mumbled a quiet "okay" before stepping into the hall. Stiles quickly, or as quick as he could anyway, put on his binder, and then put a shirt on over it, wiped the tears from his face, and told Scott he could come back in. 

 

"Look, first of all I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, I meant to but I just- I kept getting to scared that you'd like hate me or something..anyway, I'm..." Stiles paused, trying to come up with the best way to explain. "When I was born, everyone thought I was a girl...but I never felt that way. So, about four years ago I found the term transgender online, and it just made complete sense to me. So two years ago I told my dad that I felt like a boy, he was fine with it, but everyone at my old school wasn't. I went from having a ton of friends to none, all in one day. Which is why we moved here last year, to get a fresh start. Thats also why I didn't tell you..I didn't want you to freak out and hate me." Scott didn't say anything for a while, so Stiles was sure he must hate him. Stiles was about to try and explain more,, when Scott finally did speak.

 

"Why would you think I would hate you for this? I get that other people have before but do you honestly think that I'm like that?" Stiles shrugged and shook his head, the more he thought about it, the more he realized that Scott definitely wasn't the type of person to judge this kind of thing. Scott playfully shoved Stiles for shrugging. "I would never judge you for something like that!" The two of them laughed as Stiles fell off the bed from the force of Scott shoving him. Within an hour they were playing video games like they always did, and everything was back to normal.

 

Sure, Stiles still wasn't completely happy about his body, but it was good to know that he had friend that'd be with him no matter what.


End file.
